Every Friday since I realized I was a pretty crappy husband I’ve reflected about how fun and rewarding weekends are and what I need to do to be sure that I will continue to be a better and better husband.
But weekends are also really tough, particularly with two young kids. There’s play time, nap time, clean-up time, fun time, meal times, bed time, bath time, I can’t sleep time, diaper time, Mommy time, Daddy time, and a whole lot of other time. And don’t forget errands!
Juggling all of these things is really tough. Making sure I’m carrying my weight and being a good husband to my wife with all of these things going on is also really tough.
But it’s also really simple.
For me, it’s as simple as “getting up.”
If I see something on the floor, I get up and pick it up.
If she’s emptying the dishwasher, I get up and help.
If the kids want to play, I get up and play, dance, sing or scream with them.**
That stuff is really simple. But it’s tough.
It’s tough because I’m often tired and I desperately want to rest and accomplish a few “me things” over the weekend, too.
Before I realized I was messing up all the little things, I’d sometimes let myself fall into a trap of being selfish and lazy.
It wasn’t a big deal, apparently. My wife said she understood most of the time, but was often frustrated and tired herself.
So my laziness was at least a “little deal.”
And while “big deals” make a “big difference” in the “big picture,” the “little deals” make a “big difference” between a “good day” and a “bad day.” (Like the excessive quotes there? They were on sale, so I got a dozen…)
I realized my biggest downfall was not getting up. Once I was up I helped quite a bit. But once my butt hit the couch I was useless.
So I started just getting up. I’d get up and help. If I saw my wife doing something in the kitchen, I’d get up and help.
If I smelled something “stinky” as my daughter ran by, I’d get up.
Even if I was tired.
I wouldn’t say anything. I wouldn’t look to see if my wife was watching or giving me “credit” for helping out. I just got up.
And guess what? I didn’t die.
The results were incredible and immediate.
My wife got less frustrated with me.
Which resulted in fewer arguments.
Which resulted in less stress.
And more energy.
And a better day.
A better day-to-day.
And a better marriage.
All because I decided to be a better husband.
By just getting up.
What little thing are you going to work on this weekend?
**If you’re thinking about borrowing my “dance contest” or “scream fest” idea for kids activities, be sure to check with your wife before hand. While they are a hit with the kids and easy for you because you’re participating and expecting it, your wife might staple your tongue to a burning building without prior written consent… 🙂 #YesILearnedThisTheHardWay #ApparentlyNothingGetsByMe…