In case you’re wondering, on a scale of 1 to 10, the moment you realize you’re a terrible husband is somewhere around “watching a puppy get hit by a car.”
My natural instinct was to apologize.
But how do you apologize for so many years of being a moron?
I had no idea. Plus, I wasn’t ready to say it out loud.
For once I was thinking clearly. I decided not to apologize.
Instead, I decided to just start being a better husband.
Simple enough, right?
So I did.
I didn’t say a word.
I just started doing more.
Less than two days later she thanked me.
That felt awesome. It was working. I was being a better husband!
Then she asked me a question I wasn’t ready to hear: “What happened?”
“What are you talking about,” I asked.
“You’ve been so wonderful this weekend,” she replied. Yes, those were her exact words.
That felt pretty good. And bad. If she notices enough of a difference in less than two days to ask “what happened,” she must have been pretty frustrated for a while….
I had a decision to make. How do I respond? The truth was “Yes, something happened. I realized I was a moron and I’m really, really sorry.” But it was too soon. I wasn’t ready.
I paused. And then I decided against saying anything.
“Nope, nothing happened,” I casually responded.
Then I changed the subject.
She knew I was sorry.
I didn’t need to say it.
Because I showed her.
When’s the last time you said you were sorry? Did it do anything? (HINT: If you’ve apologized for the same thing more than once, that’s an indication that the apology was short lived at best.)
What could you do today to show her you’re sorry?