Welcome to the “Confessions of a Terrible Husband” blog!
About my family
My (very patient) wife and I have been together for nine years and married for five. We have two kids – a son born in 2009 and a daughter born in 2011.
When I realized I was a terrible husband
In May 2013, right after celebrating our five-year anniversary, I traveled to another state for a business conference. The conference was hosted by a couple who have been married for over four decades. It was amazing. I learned a ton about business. But something about the way the couple interacted kept nudging at me.
For two days I watched and learned as they taught me about business. I diligently took notes about the main theme of the conference, but found myself writing other random things down that had nothing to do with business. I was taking notes about their marriage, all the little things that the husband obviously said and did, and how that impacted his marriage (and life).
At the end of the conference I got on a plane to fly home, but couldn’t get that couple off my mind. I couldn’t figure out why. I had a good marriage. My wife and I loved each other. We had all the big things you could ever want, I thought: a good job that permitted my wife to stay home with our kids, a healthy family, love for each other and the resulting “stable” household that flows from not having to worry about whether you can afford groceries or travel to see family and friends. And we mixed in a vacation or two here or there.
Then it hit me
The difference between their marriage and mine was the handsome and modest guy who brushes my teeth in the morning. It didn’t matter that I did all the big things right. I did all the little things wrong and my marriage was locked in moron purgatory. I was a terrible husband.
I know it sounds like a big jump from “little things wrong” to “terrible,” but that’s really what it is. Why? Because some big things are out of your control. For example, you can’t completely control your health. But the little things are simple and controllable. And I did them all wrong. I had no one to blame but myself.
Apparently there are only two cures for a marriage stuck in moron purgatory. You could simply get rid of the moron. Or the moron could become less of a moron. I chose the latter, before my wife chose the former…
Stick around and pay close attention
For the time being, this will be the only place you can find the detail about all the stupid things I do and how I’m working hard to do less of them in the future. You can laugh along (at me) and roll your eyes along (with my wife) as I do all the big things right, but the little things wrong.
Be sure to subscribe to the blog for exciting updates over the rest of the year when you will find additional places to learn from my mistakes… more formats… more information… more stupidity.
Finally, here’s to wishing that I run out of material quickly and need to turn this site will to a “look back” and less of a “ride along.” I’m working very hard to be sure that happens. 🙂
–a terrible husband